Sunday, 29 January 2012

We Cordially Invite You To... (Our Cocktail Party Celebration)

Welcome, welcome...erm, not you
Wait a minute, can you please ignore the cocktail party suffix. I've told them before...those girls. This is a blog, not a red carpet leading to the bloody Oscars Award. Sorry...  


Nothing too exciting to talk about. Those Daily Beach Babes have been giving me the eye (again) & Hi, My Name is John, has just finished the night shift. We've had mixed reviews about John, so we will keep him to the Sunday slot. More pipe and slippers than Cheltenham Gold Cup. I find Johnny 5 quite amusing. We can learn a lot from our elders (Neil). I bet John has taught you a trick or two from reading his introduction. Next week he has something very funny to share with you. Well, with us all... 


I've been talking to my youngest brother, Gareth.He is a web master. Has a cloak and everything. I think I'm getting mixed up between a web master and a wizard, hey. Well, he runs a couple of successful websites and even sold one, a few years back, to a company in San Francisco. It was down Silicone Valley. Nothing to do with PIP. He met someone from Google, a mix of geeks, taken to a Goo Goo Dolls concerts and heard a funny story about Robin William's wife hiding in the bathroom for two days. I keep telling him to go back.


Well, he is always trying to point me in the right direction, like younger siblings do (in a nice way, of course).


However, as my mind works in furlongs it takes a slap on the arse and someone holding a tuft if grass in front of my face for me to be propelled forward.I kept wondering why I wore metal shoes. I'm sure many of you out there, would suggest I need to remove the blinkers or grow substantial sideburns in an attempt to replicate cheek pieces. You may be wondering - like most of my posts - where this one is leading? I'm talking search engines. (I doubt you saw that coming...)


The Wizard says to gain a higher page ranking we need to write a few guest posts on other blogs/websites. At present we are sitting just at the bottom of page one for ''Racing Tips'' on Google. Think we are just about top of the tree for ''2yo Horse Racing Tips'' or some combo of those words. It's all GobbledyGoogle to me. In this fickle world of search engine words, even a carefully positioned apostrophe can add ten readers a day!


I wonder if anyone actually types ''2yo Racing Tips''. Some. A few. A few die hards with green teeth and weld marks on their hind quarters. I'm feeling sorry for ever creating a blog after writing that last sentence. What have I descended to? However, times must...and to attract even more readers than the Daily Beach Babes could imagine, you (me) well, we need to be at the top of the search engines. I'm wearing shoulder pads just in case we are vying for space because the top of this tree seems as sharp as the point of a diamond. I've got a plan. If you cling to me and I cling to you, and Joe Bloggs hangs on my left metal shoe we could be okay. Well, The Wizard calculated that people who head the list for ''Racing Tips'' will probably gain 100 sign-ups to their ''Free Tips Offer'' a day. Makes interesting reading, hey. I'm not sure what you have to do to reach that summit? That diamond at the top of the tree seems a pretty stiff task. In fact, my climbing crampons have cramped. So we have to look toward more level avenues, rather than ascend those clouds in the sky, chasing rainbows, or pots of gold. It's either pay lots of money, bride, cheat, send the Daily Beach Babes and John to do their stuff or steal a magician's wand. And there's me thinking it was all about picking a winner or two.


Once the new Flat season begins, if any successful blog (i.e.you have a respectable readership) would be interested in a HCE writing a guest post on the subject of two-year-old horse racing then drop me a line. In addition, we would welcome guest posts from other blogs/websites.