Sunday, 29 January 2012

We Cordially Invite You To... (Our Cocktail Party Celebration)

Welcome, welcome...erm, not you
Wait a minute, can you please ignore the cocktail party suffix. I've told them before...those girls. This is a blog, not a red carpet leading to the bloody Oscars Award. Sorry...  

Nothing too exciting to talk about. Those Daily Beach Babes have been giving me the eye (again) & Hi, My Name is John, has just finished the night shift. We've had mixed reviews about John, so we will keep him to the Sunday slot. More pipe and slippers than Cheltenham Gold Cup. I find Johnny 5 quite amusing. We can learn a lot from our elders (Neil). I bet John has taught you a trick or two from reading his introduction. Next week he has something very funny to share with you. Well, with us all... 

I've been talking to my youngest brother, Gareth.He is a web master. Has a cloak and everything. I think I'm getting mixed up between a web master and a wizard, hey. Well, he runs a couple of successful websites and even sold one, a few years back, to a company in San Francisco. It was down Silicone Valley. Nothing to do with PIP. He met someone from Google, a mix of geeks, taken to a Goo Goo Dolls concerts and heard a funny story about Robin William's wife hiding in the bathroom for two days. I keep telling him to go back.

Well, he is always trying to point me in the right direction, like younger siblings do (in a nice way, of course).

However, as my mind works in furlongs it takes a slap on the arse and someone holding a tuft if grass in front of my face for me to be propelled forward.I kept wondering why I wore metal shoes. I'm sure many of you out there, would suggest I need to remove the blinkers or grow substantial sideburns in an attempt to replicate cheek pieces. You may be wondering - like most of my posts - where this one is leading? I'm talking search engines. (I doubt you saw that coming...)

The Wizard says to gain a higher page ranking we need to write a few guest posts on other blogs/websites. At present we are sitting just at the bottom of page one for ''Racing Tips'' on Google. Think we are just about top of the tree for ''2yo Horse Racing Tips'' or some combo of those words. It's all GobbledyGoogle to me. In this fickle world of search engine words, even a carefully positioned apostrophe can add ten readers a day!

I wonder if anyone actually types ''2yo Racing Tips''. Some. A few. A few die hards with green teeth and weld marks on their hind quarters. I'm feeling sorry for ever creating a blog after writing that last sentence. What have I descended to? However, times must...and to attract even more readers than the Daily Beach Babes could imagine, you (me) well, we need to be at the top of the search engines. I'm wearing shoulder pads just in case we are vying for space because the top of this tree seems as sharp as the point of a diamond. I've got a plan. If you cling to me and I cling to you, and Joe Bloggs hangs on my left metal shoe we could be okay. Well, The Wizard calculated that people who head the list for ''Racing Tips'' will probably gain 100 sign-ups to their ''Free Tips Offer'' a day. Makes interesting reading, hey. I'm not sure what you have to do to reach that summit? That diamond at the top of the tree seems a pretty stiff task. In fact, my climbing crampons have cramped. So we have to look toward more level avenues, rather than ascend those clouds in the sky, chasing rainbows, or pots of gold. It's either pay lots of money, bride, cheat, send the Daily Beach Babes and John to do their stuff or steal a magician's wand. And there's me thinking it was all about picking a winner or two.

Once the new Flat season begins, if any successful blog ( have a respectable readership) would be interested in a HCE writing a guest post on the subject of two-year-old horse racing then drop me a line. In addition, we would welcome guest posts from other blogs/websites.


Neil said...

Am I too late for the party? Mine's a Pernod (single of course!).

What's this about being an elder? Hope you don't mean literally!

I don't have a blog so I can't refer anyone I'm afraid. Happy to contribute of course.

What meetings are you looking forward to most over the flat season?

This year I will be going to Ascot for the first time, so can't wait for that. It's the free meeting in May. I think there is only one 2yo race - the Aldermore Conditions Stakes - so will be looking to you for guidance!

And I always look forward to Newmarket - any meeting on Rowley Mile is always a pleasure, especially with family and friends.

HCE said...

Hi Neil,

Thanks for your comment. I want a

I think you are our best blog supporter. And I always enjoy your comments and contributions.

I always go to Great Yarmouth for the three-day meeting in September. I don't get to the track as much as I should. I have been to Royal Ascot in the past but it was far too busy for me. I don't like big crowds, so like these smaller venues. I will certainly do my best for the 2yo race. Conditions Stakes are never the easiest of races to assess and the prices of the major fancies are often on the short side for my liking. But come the day, I will have a good look and give you my thought. I rarely bet in Stakes races unless I have an outside fancy 10/1 +.

Newmarket is a great course for 2yo racing. I often make arrangements to go to a course only to find I have no particular fancies on the day. I can't really enjoy racing like that - although even in a 2yo race where I don't have the strongest opinion it is more right than wrong. I need to make sure there is a fancied runner and then go. Although I often find it easier to bet at home and keep an eye on all those changing variables.

So which is your local track? I guess distance wise it would be Newmarket and Fakenham for me. Doesn't take long to get to Doncaster by train.

Neil said...

Snowball? There's another thing you need to be careful looking up on the internet!

Newmarket closely followed by Huntingdon are my locals. Never been to Huntingdon as I'm more of a flat person. I must admit I prefer Rowley to July. July course layout was disappointing when I went - you need top tickets to get anywhere decent. 2nd level tickets only get you on the perimeter looking in, making you feel 2nd class, whereas G&P in Rowley is still quality. Also July seems more of a social occasion than a race meeting. I agree with you I generally don't like it when its rammed, but 2000 Guineas or Champions Day I don't mind the crowds - you can't beat it.

I'm glad my comments are appreciated - hopefully I do add some value to proceedings!

HCE said...

Your comments are always appreciated, Neil. I wish we had a few more people who comment. I forgot about Huntingdon. That is close to me. I wonder if you are a Cambridgeshire man? I'm a Fenlander. :-) Most people won't have too much idea of the Fens but it is where I call home, in March. Yes, I live in a month of the year, I have been to Huntingdon a couple of times. It is a decent course, quite compact with the paddock only a minutes walk from the finishing post. I am not that keen on the jumps as I don't like seeing horses fall. Not a bad course though.

Neil said...

You've got me yes. I am a Cambridge man.